I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Randomize