just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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