i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
