I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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