There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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