dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Randomize
