Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
