You really coming over, don't trick.
porn star boner night. come get it.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
