DIN'T JUSGE NE.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize