dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Rumble strips road head = magical
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Randomize
