thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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