ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Can I color on your dick again?
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize