Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
