We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Randomize
