Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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