i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
handjob tips. give me some.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
