Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
