awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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