Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
