My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
