would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
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