2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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