Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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