By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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