shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
