i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
