I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
