I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
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