im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
My vagina is officially offended.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
