I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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