I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
