just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
