that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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