if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
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