What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
