Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
