so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
