Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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