shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Randomize