her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
