i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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