i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Randomize
