True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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