so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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