4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
