I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
