I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
