I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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