Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
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