I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
