nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Randomize
