You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
