He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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