We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
