the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
