return my video game
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
now i know why i became what i already was.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
