just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize
