Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Randomize
