just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
