you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
