let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize