I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
