idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
