I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
